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May 12th

May 12, 2014

May 12th 2012 we laid Timothy to rest. I thought Mothers Day would be hard because it was 2 years ago on Mothers Day but I woke up today with that cry lump in the back of my throat.

It is just something you don’t forget.

It’s like your body tells you when you come up on a loss anniversary.

You can’t help but think, remember, acknowledge…..possibly shed a tear.

I remember driving into the cemetery. I remember we were talking and doing ok, we turned the corner to the right and BAM! I lost it. I remember being mid-sentence and then just saying “it’s so small”  and crying hysterically. I was not expecting that seeing the casket would hit me SO HARD. After all I went through, it was like…seeing the casket made it all real.

Mother’s Day we drove up and saw a small little hole…..

small little hole where they were placing a small little casket.

The hardest part was seeing the dirt being to fill in the hole, the hole completely covered.

My baby was gone.

So I am slightly sad today. I will be fine in a minute. All I need is a minute to be sad and remember my baby. To honor his precious life. Just give me a minute.

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From → Baby Loss

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