These next few weeks
So yesterday I was 12 weeks 5 days pregnant.
It’s always weird for me, hitting that mark where I lost our first baby Ryley because I can picture this baby. Ryley was alive and gone the day we delivered him so he was 12 weeks 5 days size exactly. Perfect little fingers and toes, tiny little toe nails. Small little ears and the perfect little nose. he was a fully formed little human. He was perfect and precious. These next few weeks I will be a nervous wreck inside and begging God for a miracle.
12.5 weeks Ryley died, 16 weeks Daniel died and 19 weeks Timothy died. So naturally I fear having yet another loss in this timeframe. It is scary and no one can say different unless they have had three losses, two in a row. If you haven’t been through it, don’t tell me it will be fine!! Clearly I know it can easily NOT be fine.
I am praying for a miracle.
I am praying for this baby to be safe and healthy.
But I am being cautious.
I am guarding my heat, hopes and dreams.