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Christian Platitudes

December 9, 2013

In my journey through grief I have been told many Christian platitudes….cliché sayings…. things we just word vomit out without thinking. Here are a few I suggest you avoid, just from my own personal experience.

1) Everything happens for a reason: I HATE HATE HATE this saying. I get told this time and again and I just don’t believe it. Quoted from a website “I’ve heard this said more times than I care to. I’m not sure where it came from either, but it’s definitely not in the Bible. The closest thing I can come up with is “To everything, there is a season,” but that’s not exactly the same. The fact is that faith, by definition, is not reasonable. If it could be empirically verified with facts or by using the scientific method, it wouldn’t be faith. It would be a theory. Also, consider how such a pithy phrase sounds to someone who was raped. Do you really mean to tell them there’s a reason that happened? Better to be quiet, listen and if appropriate, mourn alongside them. But don’t dismiss grief or tragedy with such a meaningless phrase.”

2) He/She is in a better place: This may be true, but it doesn’t take the sting of the loss away and if the person wasn’t saved it really may not be true and might hurt worse. If what you say won’t make a grieving person better don’t say it.

3) God needed another angel so He called him/her home: A well meaning statement but it ignores the grief that the person is going through. Focus on the grief that the living person is going through and don’t try to dismiss it with blanket statements that don’t help.

4) The Lord never gives someone more than they can handle: this implies that, if really horrible things are happening to you, God “gave” it to you. Is this a test? Am I being punished? Is God just arbitrarily cruel? Just don’t say it. That would be saying that God made my babies die and how could I be ok with God after hearing that. We live in a fallen world where bad things happen, God doesn’t will bad things to happen to us.

Those are just a few, there are so many more out there. The best thing to do for a grieving person is hug them, let them cry on your shoulder, bring them a meal, pray for and with them. don’t feel like you have to SAY something, DO something!

Feel free to comment with your own Christian platitudes that need to be avoided, I know there are many.

God is good all the time and I know this to be true, but certain statements like I listed are just not helpful.

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From → Baby Loss

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