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Pissing Contest

May 30, 2013

Excuse the title but that is what it is.

 

I have seen on several groups in the baby loss community as well as in life……grief is like a glorified pissing contest.

 

People that have had stillbirths will think that those that have miscarriages have no clue about loss and JUST had a miscarriage, those that have had late miscarriages will think the same of someone that lost early on. People will say, regarding your miscarriage “Well at least you didnt lose a real baby” or “At least you weren’t further along when your baby died”

 

Cant we just let grief be grief and loss be loss and not judge whose grief is worse. I would never judge someones grief that lost a baby early on. I have never lost a baby early on so I don’t know how it feels. Every loss and every stage feels different.

Guess what??

All losses are loss. The person that died was your person and you have the right to think you loss was the worst in the world because it was to you. But someone elses loss was the worst in the world to them.

Be nice.

I have lost babies at 13, 16 and 19 weeks. All considered miscarriage. In all of them I labored and delivered just like any momma that had a stillbirth. But they were miscarriages.

We can’t judge anyones grief.

Instead just hug them and be supportive. encourage them to grieve however they need to for as long as they need to.

Just be nice and have empathy.

No loss is worse than another. They are all different, but loss is loss!

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From → Baby Loss

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