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Church

May 25, 2013

I don’t want to go to church but I feel like I need to but I’m mad…..and heartbroken….. and I am having a hard time feeling Gods promises. I believe them….I believe truly… .my faith is strong but I just am not feeling right now.

I am stuck.

I am not sure when I will be unstuck. I know it will happen, I just don’t know when. My grief over Timothy is compounded……my perfect babies are gone.

I almost wish I was like some people and just dismiss this all and move on fast but I can’t. I value life. I cherish life. Two lives that were growing inside of me left me….too close together. I ask God why why why … though I know I will probably never know why.

I hate that my kids know that babies die. No kids should ever know that.

No parent should ever lose a child. Its just wrong .

Dang I got side tracked.

I just don’t want to go to church. I know I will cry. I’ve done enough crying this week. I hate crying. It hurts.

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2 Comments
  1. Lanette permalink

    If your tears don’t hit the ground, they will drown your heart….this has helped me many times.

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