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April 30, 2013

I am in dread. This time last year I thought I was pregnant with a live baby. I was gearing up for my big ultrasound. I wanted to be excited. But I was clothed in fear. I thought I was just being hormonal and unreasonable but May 3rd my fear was confirmed. Our big amazing ultrasound turned into hearts broken and dreams for this new life shattered. May 4th I check into the hospital and May 5th I held my baby. My lifeless son. Far too soon. I may have a hard time this coming month……I’m not depressed. I don’t need anything. Just the freedom to have a sad month. That’s a fair request right? I will probably blog a lot. Probably a few sad things. I’m great 99.5% of the time. The other .5% of the time I think I have the right to be sad!! Today is one of those days. I can’t wait until my dad gets here so I can hug him.

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