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It’s just one of those days

February 12, 2013

So I had a mini session with my friend today but she had to cancel. She is having a sad day today missing her momma. Maybe it is just the weather that makes it worse because I woke up feeling the same way.

I think I need to make a run out to the cemetery today to bring some flowers out. Trevor and Hannah said Timothy needs some flowers and pretty things and I have to agree.

I just keep thinking about how life would be right now with a 4-ish month old baby……how sweet it would be. What would he look like? What color hair would he have? What would his laugh sound like? Would he ever pee on dad like Trevor did? When would he crawl/walk/roll? What would his first word have been?

I think that hard thing about losing a baby is that you have all of these questions for the rest of your life.

Every age and stage…

You always try to picture your child in the family unit and try to picture what they would look like and how they would act.

Losing an adult, you can look back and have so many memories. You miss them. Losing a baby you look forward and grieve all of the what would have beens….and those last forever. It sucks.

(Here is my disclaimer. When I blog something sad…… it is not consuming me. I am sad for the moment and blogging about it gets it off of my chest and I feel so much better and my day goes back to beautiful! I dont want anyone thinking im depressed because I am soooo not!! )

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From → Baby Loss

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