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Are you going to have anymore??

February 4, 2013

So I get asked from people a lot if I am going to have anymore kids. I usually get asked from those that don’t know me and do not know of my struggles.

One tip that I can offer to everyone that may take the time to read this.

Dont ever ask anyone i they are going to have more kids!! Dont ever comment on their number of kids. Dont ever ask when they are going to have their first baby. Dont ask anything regarding their number of children.

You do not know their struggle.

If you looked at me would you know that I have had two miscarriages, one at 13 weeks and one at 19 weeks. Would you know that I have faced many fertility issues in trying to get pregnant and many health concerns while pregnant keeping my babies alive.

Nope.

You would have no idea.

So……when you see a mommy with a boy and a girl, don’t ask her if she is going to have more…..don’t ask her if she is done. When you see a newly married lady, don’t ask her when she is going to have babies. Dont ask your lady friend that has been married for a few years why she hasn’t had babies yet. You dont know the heartbreak she may be going through.

I have people assume because I have my boy and my girl that we are done having babies. I have ALWAYS wanted a big family. I want more babies. I want as many as God is going to give me. I just have to accept the fact that it might just be Trevor and Hannah that will be blessing this home here with us. So don’t assume that because they are all we have, that they are all we want. They are enough, but my heart always desires more babies. I would love to be one of those ladies that can pop a nice healthy kid out every few years with no issue. Not me though, I struggle to get pregnant and then I am riddled with fear the whole time wondering if this baby is going to die too.

Gosh I am rambling.

I guess I am just thinking about tomorrow. It will be nine months since we said hello-goodbye to our sweet baby boy.

And I get tired of people and their stupid comments.

 

 

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From → Baby Loss, Family

9 Comments
  1. I know it can be painful. 😦 Sorry that you are hurt so much.

  2. I can relate to this. I suffered from secondary infertility and had 2 miscarriages, one at 5 weeks and one at 12 weeks. I found I could “grin and bear it” from people who didn’t know my problems, but I found it to be even more painful when people I knew and knew our issues would say “You have one, you should be grateful, some people have none.” I am grateful for my daughter but like you, my heart desired for more children. I don’t think that is being ungrateful at all. I am not sure if some people fully realize the insensitivity in the things they say.

    • Yeah I just think it is ignorance. SOme people just do not stop to think about the weight of their words. Sorry to hear about your losses!!

  3. I could not agree with you more!!! How about when people you hardly know start making bioligical clock references, or talk about how it is best to have children close in age. BLARG!

    • Yeah, do they not realize it is none of their busines!! Goodness!!

      • Absolutely! Also, I have been shocked to learn how many women have miscarriages. There are so many of us. I am saddened that more people aren’t aware of this. Most people just assume that anyone can have kids anytime, and that just isn’t the case.

      • I agree. When my first baby died I was floored at the number of women that came up and told me about their loss(es) I hate that it is such an unspoken thing. That is why I try to talk about it more. So many people just brush it under the rug but it is such a real and painful thing that so many women struggle with in silence.

  4. AMEN GIRL!! So many people ask me questions like that and I really don’t know how to respond.

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