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Just a vent… randomness

October 27, 2012

Wasn’t expecting that….again. I sit down at church and see that the baby dedication is scheduled for the beginning of November…..the baby dedication that we would be bringing Timothy to if he were here. I can’t go to church that weekend. I will avoid. I can’t look up there and see all of their joy and pretend to be thrilled….of course im happy for those little blessings but im so crushed that im not up there….

I read that in the listening guide and just got a sick feeling in my stomach..   im so sick of getting this feeling..  im so sick of heartbreak ruining perfectly amazing days…..I hate being reminded of what never will be.

I hate being a mom to babies in heaven.

I want all of my babies here…..

I don’t want to be missing children

Im thankful Jesus has them and I will see them one day….

But it just overall sucks

Vent over


From → Baby Loss

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