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Timothy’s Due Date

September 30, 2012

I keep thinking about how i don’t want to be thinking about what today is. Already I am trying to replace those thoughts with new ones.  I don’t expect anyone to know or care about today. I don’t expect anyone to remember or acknowledge. If I did I would face some horrible disappointment. There have been a few sweet friends that have let me know that its ok to be sad or freak out or whatever I need to do. They are a blessing to me.
I hate September. I was due with Ryley September 11th and due with Timothy today. I think of how my babies would be this year. I picture them……my heart aches to hold Timothy….my arms ache to cradle my baby.

Tomorrow is October 1st. All month I will be posting some do’s and don’ts regarding miscarriage and infant loss. Please read them and remember them. Its so important!!
Pregnancy loss is real and needs to be acknowledged.

I should be holding my son today….alive and well….Instead…..I visit a grave. Its real and the hurt is real and the heartbreak is real. I will never be the same.

For now I am switching my brain to the off position.


From → Baby Loss

One Comment
  1. sally permalink

    Good morning sweet pea. Sorry today is going to bring back sad memories. Focas on the two living children you have and how special they are. Eat something totally wild, get crazy with your Hubby
    and make this a good day. I love you

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