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August 28, 2012


I try not to think of how big and pregnant I would be right now. I try not to think about it. But some days it creeps up on me. I try not to think about how disappointed I was in friends and family out there…..for lack of support….I try to remember that I was once that awkward person that didn’t know what to say so I went into avoidance mode. I try to remember so that I never become bitter. Timothy existed. Some days it all feels like a dream. Like he existed only to my family unit right here…..but he existed. He, my son, was wanted and loved… sisters lost a nephew, my mom and my dad lost a grandson….my friends baby lost a friend that he wont ever know he could have had. Timothy existed and left a forever mark on my heart. I will never be the same. I will never be the same. We just got his grave marker paid for and it is being shipped to us now. The final thing that we need to do for this all to come full circle. The marker has butterflies on it. If you know me, you know my thing with butterflies so the marker is very fitting. It makes me smile and brings some peace to my heart. Most days I do pretty good. Some days I just really need a big hug and a shoulder to cry on though :-/ I am so thankful. I am blessed. God IS good ALL the time. I may never have another baby again…..or I may have many more. Whatever is in His plan is good and I will be content.


From → Baby Loss

  1. Do you mind me asking where you order your marker from?

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